Relationships + Communication for a Healthy, Happy, Long Life

SPEAKERS

Sheri Davidson

S

Sheri Davidson 00:19

Hello friends, welcome back to the wellness inspired podcast. If this is your first time here, welcome. I am super excited that you're here. I'm your host, Sheri Davidson. And this is episode number eight, healthy relationships, connections and communication. First, I'd like to share a few things with you. If you missed the last episode, Episode Seven heal with nature biophilic design with Jackie Berry, go back and check it out. I met Jackie when I was a designer at PDR, which stands for planning design research. We stayed in touch over the years on social media and I have to say it was super fun catching up and talking about our innate attraction to nature and the health benefits of biophilic design. One of my favorite subjects and if you're not already incorporating elements of nature in your built environment, you will want to after this episode, also Jackie and I plan on going indoor plant shopping this spring and we are inviting you to come along with us. We'll do an onsite podcast and a video at one of our favorite nurseries in Houston Buchanan's or I like Cornell yes to. They're all really good. So please join us. I'll let you know when that is happening. Okay, on to the next to give a teaser episode nine I will sit down with Tammy Hirotaka to chat about wellness, travel and wellness tourism. Again, one of my favorite subjects. I feel every cell in my body jumping with excitement, enjoy it when I say this, I love travel, adventure and wellness. Perfect. She was a guest on the health and wellness podcast too. So please tune in, it will be super, super fun. And I think you guys will all really enjoy hearing that episode. To get updates on new episodes and wellness inspiration in your inbox, please join the wellness inspired community. Go to wellness inspired podcast.com to
sign up, and I'll put the link in the show notes. So you can click and sign up. Also, there is a Facebook community at the Wellness inspired. And you can follow me on Instagram at wellness underscore inspired. If you like what you hear, please give me a rating and review. Wherever you listen to your podcast, it helps others find me. And if you're in the Houston area or visiting and interested in acupuncture, herbal medicine, cupping, or dry needling, contact us, you can find out more on the website at element five oh m.com. That's element, the number five, oh lm.com. If you're interested in health and wellness coaching, we can connect in the clinic or on Zoom. So reach out to us and we'll get you on the schedule. And last but not least, I host two monthly events yin yoga and mindful meditation. Yin Yoga is with my friend Giorgio, it's on Zoom. Yin Yoga is a passive style of yoga that releases the fascia of the body. It's excellent to get deep, deep relaxation. It's also very meditative. I hosted one Saturday of every month at 10am. To register, go to the events page on the element five acupuncture and wellness

website, I will put the link in the show notes. I also host mindful meditation. And that is with me. It is for all levels if you're interested in mindful meditation, but I set it up for beginners. But again, anybody can attend. But we do interval mindfulness training. So we meditate for seven minutes we come out, we talk about it, ask questions, share your experiences, we go back in for another seven minutes. And we do four rounds of that. And I really like this because it gives people an opportunity to engage with some of the other students as well as me. And I think you get a whole lot out of it. So if you're new to meditation, mindfulness meditation and you're interested, please join us. Again, I host it once a month on Saturday at 10am. If you're interested you can sign up on the website, element five, acupuncture and wellness website. And of course, as I've said, All of this will be in the show notes. So let's let's talk about healthy relationships, connections and communication. I want this episode to post in February the month of love because I thought it would be awesome to take the opportunity to celebrate all positive, meaningful social relationships and connections and not just romantic ones. But that didn't happen. So this episode will post the first week of March. That is close enough. And I'm okay with that, because we should celebrate these types of relationships all year round. Before we jump into the juice, I'd like to take a few steps back and talk about wellness. You'll hear me talk about this a lot on the podcast, you'll hear me define wellness a lot here because I think it's essential to a wellness lifestyle. So wellness is an active pursuit of activities, choices and lifestyles that lead to a state of holistic health and wellness has to be approached multi dimensionally. We can't compartmentalize our life, every aspect of our life is interconnected. If there's a change in the part, you change the whole. For example, let's say you hate your job. It's a high stress and toxic environment. How many people can survive much less thrive in a high stress toxic environment for a long period of time? Well, I don't know anyone, I have seen many cases in my clinic as much as you try not to let it affect you. Before long, you're experiencing sleepless nights, tension, digestive disorders, like ulcers, and or IBS, headaches, hair loss, and premature aging, who wants that, and many more signs and symptoms. And let's not forget the mental emotional states of frustration, anxiety, depression, there could also be a lack of meaningful and purposeful work there. You go home, you take it out on yourself, your family, your friends, maybe even your kids. It's hard for anyone to thrive under those circumstances, you're just trying to survive. Now, one solution to changing those circumstances is to change jobs. There are other possibilities. But let's stick with the obvious one. You find a job you love. One that gives you purpose and meaning. You're surrounded by supportive relationships, people who want to see you grow, you found your place, doing good work, and part of a good cause. The cascade of positive changes that would happen in your life, physically and mentally are freakin amazing. You changed apart your whole life changes you see. That's why I love doing this podcast. Because we get to talk about all the dimensions of wellness, nutrition, exercise and movement, spirituality, environment, financial wellness, sleep and recovery, awareness and mindfulness, self care, personal and professional development, purpose, focus, and our topic of the day, relationships, connections and communication. It's a lot of stuff. We got a lot of stuff to talk about here. So I am super excited to talk about this with you because it's not a topic that most people take into account when they think about their health and wellness. But our relationships and connections to family, friends and community greatly impact us and the health benefits are eye opening. According to the World Health Organization. Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well being and not merely the absence of disease. We are social beings, we survive and thrive on human interaction. Research has proven over and over that quality relationships are vital to our physical, mental and emotional well being. Sharing, developing and sustaining meaningful relationships with others allows us to feel authentic and valued and provides a sense of connectedness and belonging. In this episode, I hope to inspire you to celebrate all healthy relationships, connections, and communication, as well as reflect on where you can make positive change. So why are relationships connections and communication so important? And

how do they impact our health well being and longevity? Well, we don't have to look too far. We have a current event and we are in a social experiment with it. And only the future will tell the long term effects. Think back over the past two years. The COVID lockdown in 2020, the lingering social distancing, mass mandates in the closure of public gathering spaces impacted our lives negatively. And there are some positive silver linings. You know, I think we're all having experiences that are different depending on our circumstances. But universally, it definitely is spotlighting the critical role or relationships, connections and communication play and our life and well being. Many took the opportunity to reconnect with their values and spend time with family. Many struggled with isolation and loneliness. We had to pivot and create ways to stay connected. Thankfully, technology played a huge part in our health and sanity. Thanks New technology. We found ourselves on Zoom meetup, teams and other online social platforms, as well as apps. And this is going a little off on tangent. But in the past 20 years, we have had several pandemics, but not one that shut the world down and changed history. Lucky us. COVID is often compared with the Spanish Flu of 1918. And we have come so far in our technology and medical knowledge. Back then, during the Spanish flu, there was no treatment, only prevention, there was no vaccines, no antibiotics, or antiviral drugs, the only measures taken were prevention, personal hygiene in quarantine, to we are very familiar with. Just think of this, the microscope was not powerful enough to see the virus. So it was a mystery to them. There was no internet, no social platforms or apps to keep them connected. Could you imagine going through what we just went through without knowing the medical cause or having technology to keep us connected? Wow, we have come a long way. Until something like this happens we take for granted the importance of all relationships, connections and communication, verbal and nonverbal. We will only know the impact this has had in time negative and the positive effects. It definitely made me reflect on my life in relationships. And I am so grateful for my family. I talked to them every single day, probably more than they wanted to hear from me. But they were there for me. I continued to run with two of my friends outside, I had to get that exercise in for my sanity, I also got to connect with some of my forever friends, who I had not been in contact with for a while or at least had not spent that kind of time with them in a while. I was in a networking group and we met weekly. And it was these quality connections that kept me sane and optimistic. And now that we're coming out of it, I don't want to lose sight of what I gained. The awareness of how much I value quality relationships in my life. I think we get so busy that we forget to nourish this area. And that was a takeaway for me is to continue to nourish these connections and these relationships because they really are important, and they do play a vital role in your life. Okay, no more COVID I am COVID exhausted. But on a more positive note. Let's take a look at the longest running study on happiness and longevity, the Harvard study of adult development for 80 years the study track 724 men, one group was Harvard sophomores during the Great Depression in the 1930s. The second group of men were from the poorest neighborhoods of Boston. The study tracked the men throughout their lives and collected a tremendous amount of data interviews, questionnaires, brain imaging, and vitals. After 80 years of monitoring the participants and analyzing the data, the researchers found that satisfying relationships have a powerful impact on our health, happiness and longevity, more than money and fame. These close meaningful relationships with family, friends and community are what kept people happy throughout their lives. It proved that these close ties protected people from life's discontents helped to delay mental and physical decline, and are better predictors of long and happy lives more than social class IQ, or even genes. There's a great TED talk called What makes a good life lessons from the longest study on happiness by Robert waldinger, a psychiatrist involved in the study. And I think he said he was third or fourth generation to work on the project. It's really great TED talk, I'll put the link in the show notes if you're interested in watching it. But I'm gonna I'm gonna quote him here. And I don't remember if it was from a TED talk if it was from a it might have been from a write up on the study I got it from but this is by him. When we gather together

everything we knew about them at age 50. It wasn't their middle aged cholesterol levels that predicted how they were going to grow old. It was how satisfied they were in their relationships. The people who were most satisfied and their relationships at age 50 Were the healthiest at age 80. That is crazy. That is super cool. So you have control, start developing those relationships. Now if you haven't been you can't go wrong with this. But make sure they're healthy because that's the important part is they have to be healthy and meaningful. Because at the end of the day, what's important is that you know you can really count on someone when the going gets tough. So the health benefits of healthy relationships and connections are reduced stress, protects brain for brain health encourages healthy behavior creates a sense of purpose and increases lifespan. What do you guys think of that? Do you think this sounds good? I do. You know, I have an amazing relationship with my mom and dad. They are like my, my best friends, and I am so appreciative of this gift. I tell them pretty much everything and talk to them almost every night, whether they like it or not. But most importantly, I know what it feels like to have someone in your corner. And it feels good. So next time I talk to them, I'm gonna have to let them know that we're supporting each other in our health and longevity, right. Growing up, I also surrounded myself with many, many friends, you know, I always had the feeling or what do they call it FOMO, the fear of missing out. So I never missed anything, I was too scared. So my friends and I would travel and do things in extra large group, we were very close. And I'm still friends with most of them today, our relationships have changed a bit, because we're in different places in our lives. But nonetheless, we still have rock solid relationships, they would be there for me in a heartbeat. And I would do the same for them. We may not do things in the extra large groups. But I've noticed as I've gotten older, I don't mind smaller groups, as long as they are quality relationships. And this is rooted in my values. And of course, it will look different for everyone. Because people value different things and want different things out of relationships. But there is one thing that holds true across the board, no matter what your values are. In a healthy relationship, there is a give and take period, a healthy relationship cannot be one sided, because someone always loses. So what do you value in a relationship? I value that give and take, I value relationships that are supportive and authentic and honest, I love relationships that I can communicate with that person. I love and value personal responsibility in relationship, I value meaningful relationships, and I value trust. And when I'm engaged in relationships like this, it brings me pure joy, and connection, and enthusiasm and optimism. It just feels good. I want to nourish these relationships and give back to these relationships more and more. I want the people that I'm in these relationships with to be happy. I want to see them happy. So what do you value in relationships? And how can they give back to you? You know, there's a great book called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. And although it is centered around romantic relationships, I think you can apply it to all relationships. It was there, I don't know if it's still popular, but it was popular. And I don't know when the book was written. But I remember hearing about it in the early 2000s. And I think it's worth checking out. I can't remember all of the languages. Let me see if I can remember them here. Words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, gifts, and touch. So the idea behind this book is how you love in your relationship, because we all love very differently, and how you want to be loved in your relationships. And I think it says a lot about values. So I really like the book. I think it makes sense. So check it out. I'll put the link in the show notes. There's also the website where you can take the test. So I'll put that in there as well. Let's move on. Okay, so I'm going to talk a little bit about connection and Eastern medicine. Because I know it seems unrelated, but it's not. You know, have you ever wondered how you connect to yourself and others? And why is easy for some to connect and others have a more difficult time? Well, there are many, many reasons of why. But we have our own explanation and Eastern medicine. And it's a bit romantic. So we connect and we love and express to the fire element. So I'm not sure if you're familiar with five element theory, but you have five elements, you have water, wood, fire, earth, and metal. And it is all phenomena of life

and the cycle of life. So as an example, we'll just take an architect, or you, you have the idea that you're going to build a house, ah, you look at your significant other and say, Let's build a house. Okay, that is the water face. That's the water element and Eastern medicine. It is the idea. It's the potential of something that is going to happen. And then you get into the planning phase which you draw up the plans. Maybe you work with an architect designer, you draw up the plans for your your new house, that's the wood face. It's the planning. It's the springing forward. It's the spring too, but it's springing forward. It's bursting through the ground with life. And then you have the firefighter The Fire phase in Eastern medicine is about manifestation expression. It is about building that house that house is being built. Now. It is in the manifestation stage. And then you have the earth phase, the earth phase is about harvest, and it is about kicking back and that beautiful home that you just built. When it's all done, all the stress is gone. And you can enjoy the fruits of your labor. That's the earth phase and then it goes into the metal phase, the metal phase is the death of something, and then it enters back into the water phase again. So that is a very over simplistic explanation of the five phases just to give you an idea, it's all phenomena of life. And in TCM, traditional Chinese medicine. We connect love and express through the fire element. It governs the season of summer, the heart organ, the blood vessels, and the emotion of joy. Robust and balanced fire energy gives us the ability to break through isolation, loneliness and alienation. It can dissolve barriers and meltaway negativity, polarity, hatred, leaving warm thoughts and feelings that nourish the body, mind and spirit in deep joy of harmony. In Unity. You know, there is a poetic, artistic emotional side to Eastern medicine, especially the fire element. There are no boundaries to the heart and fire element. It wants to love all and help all imbalances in the fire element lead to certain disease patterns. So for example, if someone is experiencing insomnia, heart palpitations, high blood pressure, poor circulation, bladder infection, anxiety and moodiness, isolation and loneliness, there may be an imbalance in the fire element. A practitioner who practices five element theory will create a treatment plan around the imbalances. I don't do a lot of five element treatments. In my practice, I am pretty traditional, but it is out there. And there's a whole school of thought on this. So I always like to include a little of my medicine when appropriate. So there you go. Okay, well, let's talk about community. We started from our more intimate relationships of family, and friends. And now I'd like to move outward to our connection with community. It's not only important to have healthy relationships with family and friends, but also a healthy relationship with your community, or a community because it too has positive effects on your health and well being as well as it has positive effects on a community, city or town. There is an organization in England called the Kings fund. It is an independent charitable organization working to improve health care in England, their vision is that the best possible health care is available to all. And on their website, it looks like they pulled together some resources for a project called strong community wellbeing and resilience. And I'm just going to read this as off their website says local authorities have a role to play in helping individuals and communities to develop social capital to help improve health strengthen resilience to health problems, and here are some of the findings and resources they pulled together. And I'll put this in the show notes, a person's social networks can have significant impacts on their overall health. It was also found that those with adequate social networks had a 50% greater survival compared with those with poor social networks. Another finding social support is particularly important in increasing resiliency and promoting recovery from illness. They also found that a lack of social networks and support and chronic loneliness produces long term damage to physiological health via race, stress hormones, poor immune function, and cardiovascular health. Loneliness also makes it harder to self regulate behavior, and build willpower and resilience over time, leading to engagement and unhealthy behaviors. And this just reaffirms with the Harvard study of adult development found but at a larger scale. So what are the positive effects of community on health and well being? There are many ways communities can exist or be created, communities can have a shared physical location, like a

city, town or neighborhood. I strongly believe that towns and cities should be designed around community, they should encourage conversation and interactions right. And Houston is probably the worst example of this. But many cities in the United States don't start a conversation with an open ended question. They isolate us. I'll talk more about that later and third spaces, but communities can be created around hobbies, interests and other commonalities, but at its root, it has a involvement, connection and togetherness. This feeling of connectedness with others can provide a sense of purpose and belonging, and in turn, can have a positive effect on overall health and well being. Again, reaffirming what has been said before. The quality of connections in a community is also the health and success of a city, town or neighborhood. Which brings up the concept of third spaces. But before we jump into that, the benefits of being part of a community. When you're in a community, you're surrounded by people, and that can inspire and motivate you. You can reach out to a community to get support, ask questions and get advice. Being part of a community gives you the opportunity to meet and bond with like minded people as well as open your mind to diversity. Maybe you need help and need a service or you have a service to offer your community can make those introductions for you make those referrals for you. Connecting to your community gives you a chance to interact, debate a current event, or just have fun and enjoy some downtime with others, which in turn can reduce stress since we're talking about health care. And remember, we survive and thrive on human interactions. So the idea that we're about to talk about the concept of third spaces is so important and critical to a city. We can connect with our community in many ways, but one way is effortless and thoughtless. It is through the design of our cities and towns. And these third spaces are cafes, coffee shops, bookstores, bars, hair salons and other Hangouts at the heart of the community. These spaces are collectively called the third space home as a first base work as a second space, which leaves all other places the third space and this was coined burst in 1991 by urban sociologist Ray Oldenburg. And he described it in his book The Great good place. And I'm gonna read some quotes from his book because he just says it so well. So great civilizations like great city share a common feature, evolving within them, and crucial to their growth and refinement are distinctive, informal public gathering places. These become as much a part of the urban landscape as of the citizens daily life. Invariably, they come to dominate the image of the city. Without such places the urban area fails to nourish the kinds of relationships and diversity of human contact that are the essence of the city. Deprived of these settings, people remain lonely within their crowds. The only predictable social consequence of technological advancement is that they will grow ever more apart from one another. America does not rank well on the dimension of her informal public life, and less well now than in the past. Increasingly, her citizens are encouraged to find relaxation, entertainment, companionship, even safety, almost entirely within the privacy of homes that have become a retreat from society rather than a connection to it. He believes these third spaces should be near people's homes, neighborhoods, that they are easily assessable with familiar faces, and allows for many opportunity for engagement and conversation. How many of you go to work and home without really engaging with the outside world, we're usually looking at our phones, we go from point A to point B, we don't have that coffee shop we always go to with a familiar face and smile. We really don't engage with anyone outside of our social circle. And after lockdown, many people never leave their homes. They're working from home now. And this is not good. This means we need to be more aware of this isolation and begin thinking of ways to create more of these spaces within our communities. My clinic is in a well established community in Houston. It is a collection of shops, restaurants, pubs about a half mile west of Rice University, and it was established in 1938. And it's one of the most walkable areas of Houston. So I don't know most that are listening to this podcast are in Houston. If you're not in Houston have never been Houston is very, very big. And there are not many of these walkable areas. Although more popping up. There's one complaint usually about Rice village and its parking. And it's my biggest struggle, but we manage and luckily we

have a very understanding landlord and so we make things happen. And I could move but I love it because it's my community. It's my stomping ground. I have my coffee shop. Well actually I have three that I go to, but I know them they know me they know what I like we say hello and it's like it's a familiar face and a friend and even though we don't have this relationship that goes beyond that, and sometimes it's just a smile of a familiar face. I love that. I just I love it. I have my local restaurants that I go to there. I love to frequent local foods. They are so good to me there Are my eye doctors, they're my dentist, my bank, my hairdresser. My gym used to be there, but I switched gyms and it's not too far. And I live two miles from work. So it's really hard to give all of that up for just some parking issues with like I said, we manage. And typically it's not too bad where I am. So anyway, with all that said, it's just it's the cost benefit, right? The cost benefit analysis, and what I get out of it outweighs the parking issue. And I really believe many people want this experience. And I think that sometimes they don't quite articulate it, or maybe they can't articulate what's missing. But many people are drawn to small towns for this reason. And another indication that people are wanting this are that there are wellness communities popping up around the United States, and I believe outside the United States. saram B is one of those wellness communities that has been very successful, especially since COVID. I think they were selling properties pretty quickly before COVID. But then when COVID had, I think they had an uptick in home buying their Seram B, I'll put this in the show notes. It's right outside of Atlanta. It is a wellness community, and its architectural planning and design set a new standard for community living, they have restaurants, bars, arts, businesses living in nature, there, it's all easy, accessible, and it's all interconnected. You know, for example, the mailboxes are situated thoughtfully in a high traffic area. So it's impossible not to pass by someone you know, right. So you are encouraged to talk to them, you may not want to talk to them, and you may choose not to talk to them. But that opportunity is there for you to do so many of the homes have porches, where you can sit and watch the world go by. And this also encourages engagement as people walk by. And I love this. And I really would like to have an experience of Serbia, hope I get to go there one day cuz I just I love this idea. And apparently, many others do too, because these communities are popping up everywhere. So what makes up a third space. So this is Oldenburg eight criteria. And I want to share this with you guys because it gives you a better understanding of what a third space is what drives a third space. So just in case you want to go out and create one in your community, you'll know the driving force behind it. So these are Oldenburg a criteria and he says at a public space, it needs to be on neutral ground, the public space should also be a leveler, leveler reducing all to equality. Conversation is the main activity in these spaces. But it doesn't necessarily have to be the only activity assessable to all and accommodating. So people need to feel comfortable going. And a regular crowd is important. Those familiar faces are important. It should also have a low profile, so unimpressive, unpretentious, again, making people feel comfortable, and the mood is playful with a lot of laughter and banter. And lastly, it should be a home away from home should be warm and inviting. And so the next question is why why are these places so important? Yes, they are important for our health, but they're also important for the health of our community and our cities and our towns. And they unify neighborhoods, and they allow for civil engagement. They generate social capital, and create a sense of place. And they're important to signify democracy as they are non judgmental places, all according to Oldenburg. So now, you know what makes up a third space and why, why they're important. And hopefully one day, I can find somebody to come on the podcast and we can dive in a little bit deeper to this idea in concept and maybe come up with some solutions for maybe a project that we can we can do in Houston. I don't know brainstorming right now. We'll see what is in our future. I do know that these spaces to me, I don't know why I just I love third spaces. So okay, well, let's move on to our last piece of this episode. And it is what ties everything together. And that is communication. We don't have communication, how do we have connection? You know, it's one thing to be surrounded by family, friends and community. But the thing that ties us together

and makes us whole is communication, verbal and nonverbal communication. I mean, could you imagine a world without it, it is one of the most important aspects of life because it is how we develop, grow, convey ideas, concepts and information to others. It allows us to gain a better understanding of ourselves and other people. And it is key when it comes to positive social interactions, therefore playing a huge role in our health and wellness. So let's talk about some key points healthy communication plays in everyday life. Why Communication builds trust and strengthens bonds with ourselves and others, it opens doors of opportunity. It allows you to function and thrive in life and a community. It helps develop your personality. Communication, verbal and nonverbal is how we express ourselves to the world. Communicating effectively plays a large role in resolving conflict and preventing new ones. It helps us express ideas and personal needs. When we're able to express our ideas and our needs. Clearly, we have a greater opportunity, and having those ideas flourish and our needs met. healthy communication creates better relationships. When we communicate better with our family and friends, listening carefully offering feedback, offering quality feedback, people feel understood. And this builds again, trust and mutual respect. Communication improves decision making, it allows us to ask questions, get feedback, and make an educated decision, rather than a decision based on emotion and intuition. I'm a big fan of intuition. Although it can be spot on if you're able to interpret those intuitions correctly. I truly believe sometimes you just have to go with your gut, sometimes it knows best. So those are just a few key points on healthy communication and the role that it plays in our everyday life. I think it sounds fantastic. And I think it's worth, you know, developing these skills, nurturing the skills, so we become better communicators in our lives with ourselves and our community. So how can you develop your communication skills, I've got a few, a few tips. Number one, develop active listening, this is one of the most important communication skills that you can develop deep positive relationships can only be developed by listening to each other, ask for feedback. It's always good to, to get that feedback to see what other people are thinking, practice public speaking, which this is one I'm working on right now, pause before speaking, sometimes we an emotion comes up and we respond to that emotion. So it's good to just pause, become mindful, become present, and then respond, pay attention to what your body is saying. Because your nonverbal communication can convey a lot. If your arms are crossed, and you have a sour look on your face. But you're saying you're sorry, probably is not the most authentic sorry. So be conscious and mindful of what you were communicating with your body, cultivate empathy, and listen with no judgment. And that's really hard for us to do. That's why I really love mindfulness, because it really brings you into that present moment where you don't have any judgment. And I have noticed in some of my connections and relationships, when I stay very present, and listen to them, it's a very different experience, my response is different to them. It's just, it's a very well received response from the listener. They, they really do, even though they don't verbalize it, they feel listens, because they open up a little bit more. And I see that a lot in my clinic. And the last tip I have for you is to be okay with silence, we don't always have to fill the space with words, we can just be very present with each other. Just like that. So those are my tips, my tips on developing your communication skills. So I think this is a good place to start wrapping it up, and I want to bring it back to you. It is a human need to connect with others. But often we forget the importance of connecting with ourselves. So reflect on these questions. Are you communicating with yourself as much as you are with others? What are the conversations you have with yourself is your inner voice your best friend or your worst critic. And this is always the best place to start. And the one we have the most control over. We don't have much control over the thoughts, actions and feelings of our friends and family. And we don't have direct control over the planning of our cities, towns and communities. But if we spend some time with ourselves growing and becoming, perhaps we can affect the whole because we know if we can change a part we can change the whole. So I'm going to leave you with a quote about communication. And it says, listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. act

with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don't listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity. We don't listen with intent to reply. We listen for what's behind the words by Roy T. Bennett All right, well, that's a wrap. So what did you guys think? There is so much to say here, there will be more on the subject because relationships, connections and communications are so vital to our health and longevity, personally and collectively. We talked about the health benefits of healthy relationships and connections, they reduce stress, protect brain for brain health, encourage healthier behavior, create a sense of purpose, and increase lifespan. We talked about how being connected to community also plays a big role, because of its positive effects on your health and well being as well as the positive effects on a city or town. We connect with our community through third spaces is a quality and it is the quality of these third spaces that play an important role in connecting us or isolating us. And lastly, we talked about the importance of communication. It is what ties all of this together and makes us whole. It's the glue of our relationships. It's what allows us to thrive as a person, a community, a city, a town. So join me open your heart for all healthy connections in your life, whether intimate relationship, friendships or community. They deserve to be nourished and cherish because in the end, they determine your health, happiness and longevity. And as always, I would love to hear your feedback. I am dedicated to bringing you great content that is inspiring and informative with an artsy fun, edgy spin. Thank you so much for listening. We'll meet here again next time. And remember, never stop exploring, learning, loving and being you bye